9/11. No words necessary...indeed, "this is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it"...my blog name, applies. Not because of what happened ten years ago today, but what has happened since. The stories, the lives, the impact, the shaping of a future, the life that has come from loss, knowing that God is in the midst of it, God is in the midst of me, ONE DAY AT A TIME. Admittedly, I have chosen to watch only snippets of the broadcasts. Then, and now, the devastation can take over, and we can be brought back to the place of pain, but only to a certain extent. I say that because our/my life was not as impacted. Yes, our country changed, war changed, our innocence was washed away. But, my children didn't have to grow up without a father, mother, sister, or a brother. My spouse nor I were not left to manage on our own, maneuver grief, setting aside our own pain for the sake of raising a child alone. I have no relatives who went in to those towers to do battle, fight fire, destruction, only to lose their own life right then, or later, when the effects of toxins took over. I can only imagine, from the television coverage, what began as daybreak on the most beautiful of all mornings, became night and darkness, hovering over a city for days and months to come. I can only imagine. And I know that I never could.
9/11. A day to remember. They gather today, ten years later, and they are resilient. They are teaching us how to be, also. Their aching process is known only to them, as they stand tall, dressed beautifully, tracing the names of their loved ones on the new structure. We gather today to do what we choose, fly the flag, remember, find a fitting scripture, pray, try to imagine. Only we cannot. But we try. And we honor, and we remember.
We hear the stories and we cannot help but wonder, how have they managed, how have they come through TEN years, how have they rebuilt their lives, honored their loved ones, respected the memories, yet lived their lives? Through the snippets you can see it in their eyes, listen as the names are read, voices crack, tears come, hear of the widows and widowers, children who were not even born, who never knew their parent, or listen to the older ones who have lived out the legacy of the one who left too soon. All ages, young, old, all innocently working or going about normalcy, only to find in the next second, life as they knew it is shattered and torn, perhaps gone, or fractured.
Their stories teach us all about quality of life, resiliency, courage, bravery, solitude, a need for God, love, hope, and faith. Just to hear of one, let alone, thousands, inspires little old me, who gets up each morning, bearing the losses of my own world, my own child, gone too soon, never to be forgotten, and teaching me lessons every minute of every day. Life DOES come from loss. Men and women, boys and girls, living to tell the tale of 9/11 from their perspective, share how life has gone on to be lived. Babies have been born, men and women have remarried, through the tears they find laughter, graduations and weddings continue, and the circle of life is ever present. That's what this day is for, to live it, to learn from the loss, to take it to a new level, heal and grieve as we must, but to draw strength, servitude, and to make it as full as we choose. Certainly, that will look different for each person, each of them, us, parents, children, friends and neighbors. Living through grief is as individual and personal as the person experiencing it.
Loss shows us the beauty of life. Time means nothing, is not even relative. We can all stand in wonder over the fact that it's been TEN years. To those living without their loved ones, that amount of time means nothing. I share that in common with them. Time stands still, in some ways, and in others, as we reflect and remember, we see how strong we can really be, right to the soul of the matter...the soul where God sends the Holy Spirit and speaks to us, and we choose how to respond. And ready or not, time marches on, and on, and on. It is up to us how we spend that time.
Out of THEIR losses comes my own gratitude. God knows that Joe and I have thanked Him each and every day since January 9, 2007, for the chances...the chance to be with our daughter as she faced her journey, to hold her hand, to love her, to come to know Christ through her eyes and in a different way, to laugh, to find our inner truth, to live, and to say good-bye, by far the greatest gift in all of our pain. My gratitude stems from within, in such a deep and profound way, for her life, for 21years worth of memories, for being her mother. And it goes past her life, it weaves into others, the ones I knew before, since, and trust will come into my life for a purpose in the future. I am in deep gratitude for the chances I have been given, not known in their entirety to me at the time, but now, serve as the greatest treasures known to my heart.
I cannot begin to do this day justice. Of course, like everyone, I recall where I was at that distinct moment in time, in shock, horror, disbelief, setting aside my own concerns and curiosities for the sake of the 500 children in the school building. One day the shock began to subside and reality set in...but it was MY reality. Not the reality of those living it firsthand, day in day out, not really comprehending what it must be like to lose like that, my loved one, then on top of it, an income, a home, a life that was "supposed" to be one way. All gone in an instant.
Since that time, I have learned much, and in no way would I ever think of comparing. I will not, do not. For me, though, I have learned the value of a day, of a moment, when that phone rings and life as we knew it was gone, in just that instant. Definitely not as monumental and historical. But still, a lesson in that moment of time, that all we have is this day. We seize it, we grasp it, we accept it, we give thanks for it. Rain or shine, light or dark, this is the day, let us rejoice and give thanks for it.
