I talk to her so often, a whisper, a prayer, a song, a poem...and as the days grow closer to the day she left her physical form, I sometimes have to touch an image of her on a photograph or hold on to my aching, broken heart to remind myself that this is all true, and not a dream that I will awaken from, that she is gone from my grasp, but not from my life.
To Allison...
Since your eyes were closed
Mine have been opened,
They have never ceased to weep, not one day,
But I see things more clearly, vividly, sharply,
I know things more deeply.
I feel things more explicitly.
I am learning how to smile through the heartache and find joy through the pain.
I am discovering the wound of losing a child doesn't heal completely.
I am learning to live with what has been handed to me.
I journey to places unknown and unchartered.
I am finding my true direction, my purpose, my self.
I know that I am never to be the same,
Since your eyes were closed.
May your rest be beautiful and freeing with your eyes wide open, eternal love, Mom
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