I am posting a photo that brings me comfort, peace, joy and love....and oh so many memories, not just for me, but for my family, both immediate and afar, the cousins, the friends, the parties, the celebrations, the milestones...through many rough times that only made us stronger, I needed to see this image today, for myself. I could write a book about this house, and I just might, beginning with a couple who barely had any funds to do so, yet found a way to move into the house that would become a home. We stretched the dollars back then, Jen being 5 and Allison being 3 years old. We didn't enter with much. But we left with so much more.
Joe had just gotten the "really big job", inside family joke. We had to move from the other house for a multitude of reasons, and here we found this multi-level home, complete with an in-law apartment in the basement, all set up for whatever we may need. Thinking it might serve us well for the future teen years, it was enticing to say the least. The three level deck served us in ways that were complete and utter enjoyment, from hosting David and Kathy's rehearsal dinner, to all the birthday parties, to the relaxation of wine and ale, to the supervision of the young people who liked it as well, a little too much at times! We had a neighborhood pool where we spent our summers and we thought we had truly arrived! Sacrifices, oh yes, worries, oh yes, times that became almost too difficult to bear, oh yes, just like any house that becomes one's home.
What has brought me to think of this house is the many conversations my sister and I have had about THEIR house. The one where Michael now rests and restores and heals in, the one where Karen tends to every need of the family, and her beloved husband. The one where the memories just stream out of, and the one where our past became our future. Just like the house on Cameo Drive. Just like that one.
What transpired in those houses have now become pictures in our minds. At the time, we were too busy to notice. We were going here, there, Joe was coaching t-ball or soccer for girls' teams, God bless his soul and he was always working toward his own personal goals and running, running, running (the girls in Bridgeton still miss him)! I was Girl Scout Leader and Sunday School teacher, and a social butterfly. We came, we went, we lived, we didn't know, sometimes to slow down and look around. We didn't know those were the best years of our lives. Well, sort of. I'm not saying I would trade them. Would I do anything differently? Perhaps. But we didn't know any better. We did our best with what we had or were given at the time. We didn't know love was holding it all together.
There came a time when my parents lost all possessions and everything they had. They were the age I am right now. They had no place to go and had exhausted options in Missouri and in Hull, where Karen and Michael and the boys lived. So, they came to the in-law apartment, and stayed for many years to come. Not enough years. Mom became ill and left this earth so early, at 62 and later, Dad developed cancer and three months after diagnosis, he, too, was gone. Both virtually lived and died in this house. So many stories in between, but those will be saved for another day.
The lesson of the house was simple, or at least now it is...when the airport bought us out and the land was to become a runway, I was devastated. I think I could have stayed in that house and be the last one standing, well, we practically were. I couldn't bare to leave it, even though we had not repaired or replaced much, knowing for years it would be demolished. Still, I will never forget the feeling of closing that door for the last time, wondering why I felt so emotional, so sad, so lost and empty. Now I know. It wasn't a house, it was a home.
It brings me great joy just to gaze upon the photographs that we have of our beloved house with the orange door, orange carpet and worn out stairs. Through my eyes, I see so much more, and I feel so much stronger, for having learned what I learned, loved who I loved, and know what I know about life, from within the walls of that home. I am richer, wiser, and better for having been there.
2 comments:
Brings back memories of the home I grew up in....I felt that same pang in my heart when the door closed behind us...never to walk in again, but the stories never leave my mind and heart. Thanks for sharing your stories. Now I look back on my own children's experiences in their home(s) and what we put before them. They don't remember the material parts....just the parties,the gatherings and the people we've met and shared with along the way. Love you!
I have to say that when I came to your blog today and say the picture of your old house at the top, it brought tears to my eyes. I have almost as many memories in that house as I do our old home on St. Francis. I remember all the fried egg sandwiches that we would make, the hours and hours that we would spend getting ready in Ali's room and trying to sneak into Jenny's room to "borrow" some of her clothes or taking a walk over to Corner Drug for some treats. Most of all I remember all the love that I felt in that house. Thank you Kathy for all the love that you showered on me like I was one of your own. I often think about you and give thanks to God for the influence that you have had in my life.
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