Hearts Are Sad

There is so much to take in these days, so much to comprehend and absorb, centered around loss. And now that my heart knows the pain of losing a child or loved one in quite a significant, life altering way, the impact is different. We hear the news this week, of one of Jennifer's friends, Tina, who "lost" her battle with cancer. I have a different take on that phrase that we all tend to use, I say those who go on to spiritual life, "won" their battle...but that is a topic for another time. I will surely digress if I get started on that! Tina, according to friends and family, was another one of those young woman, 25 years old, I believe, who lit up a room, who was a friend to all, who lived life to the fullest. Only recently did Jennifer hear about Tina's diagnosis, and was, naturally, devastated. Most likely, more so than had she not been through this entire experience, up close and personal. She now knows, like the rest of us, things about life that perhaps could have waited, but didn't. The cancer was discovered while Tina was pregnant with her second child, who she delivered last fall. Her chemotherapy and treatments were intense, and there seemed to be little hope of a full recovery. This past Sunday, Tina passed, leaving two babies and a loving husband, parents, siblings, and friends. Hearts are sad.

Hearts are sad in our circle of friends who all raised our children together. One of those children is a mother herself, and gave birth to twins, just yesterday. Their little boy will live on to join a sister and brother, but the little girl, Lilly, is in eternal peace, after being diagnosed while in her mother's womb of a heart condition that would not sustain her life for long. Baby Lilly lived for two hours, giving her parents and siblings the chance to know her for a speck of time. Yes, hearts are sad.

Hearts are sad for another mother and friend, whose disabled son passed away to his eternal rest, less than two weeks ago. There is that empty spot that cannot be filled, once again, and she must carry on to tend to her other children and ailing mother. Indeed, hearts are sad.

Sad news seems to penetrate to the core, ripping away our defenses, our dignity, causing us to fall to our knees and ask those hard questions...why, Lord, how will I go on, what will I do, where will this take me, when will I know the answers, when will I feel relief, how do I get up? This morning was a day for questions such as these. The sadness that prevails can sometimes overwhelm and constrict, make us immobile and unresponsive. We can stare at the television and not see the picture, listen to a CD and not hear the music, watch life from the window and wonder when ours will be "normal" again. Other people and their stories can rip our hearts open because we know and have walked, somewhat, in their shoes. When it has happened to you, the sadness penetrates differently, you feel things you would have never dreamed possible, you want to take it all away, the pain, the images, the grief. But you cannot. All that can be done is pray and ask our loving God to mend, heal, and tend to the brokenhearted. With faith, we know He will provide. With trust, we know He will work it out for good. He knows our hearts are sad, and that those times are necessary to find the joy, the blessings, and the light that will come. But for now, our hearts are sad, and that is okay.