Words of Inspiration

There are so many ways that one can maneuver through their life's situations, the joys AND the sadness, the loss and the new life. It seems, to me, though, that the words of inspiration are needed mostly when times are tough, when it seems impossible to keep going without a little armor or ammunition. It is no secret that in the early months, and even now, I find myself creating affirmations or self-talk that carries me from one moment to the other, one breath to the next. I talk to God, to Allison, to my parents, to any angel who will hear me and help me when I am in desperate need. And there is always an answer, it's rather uncanny, how the words come or are sent or God knows just who I need to hear from at that moment. The connections of His heart are beautiful and while I don't believe He is a person, sitting in the clouds, orchestrating just what happens at any given moment, I do know, from my own experiences, that He sends the holy spirit to intervene and assist.

Words are my inspiration, whether in book form, scriptures, quotes, poems, affirmations, lyrics to songs, or a private conversation about life and love with someone special. As I know full well, there is not one among us who doesn't carry a story or burden of the heart, so as we become more open to talking or opening up or praying in front of one another, there is power that comes from words.

I share these words this day, words sent at a time, just a few days ago, when I wanted to shout from the depths of my soul just how much I miss Allison, and my father and my mother, that I would give anything for one more moment. I felt Allison's hand slip away from me, as we held hands, heart to heart, in her final moments, when I had to let go and watch her soul and spirit soar. I had to let go of that hand and God knows just how much I would give all I have to turn the clock back and feel that heartbeat and strength of her hand again. But I cannot. She is gone and each day, a stronger acceptance and acknowledgement of that penetrates my being. Sometimes, like today, I need something tangible to remind me, and as I take the pink tulips to her grave, I will once again, know without a doubt, that she is gone, but her physical body is replaced with a connection that will never be broken. These words remind me that she is always with me.

"I give you a solemn promise
that after I am home in the bosom of God,
I will still be present
whenever and wherever you call on me.
My energy will be drawn to you
by the magnet of our love.
Whenever you are in need, call me;
I will come to you,
with my arms full of wisdom and light
to open up your blocked paths,
to untangle your knots
and to be your avenue to God.
And all I take with me as I leave
is your love and the millions of memories
of all that we have shared.
Do not grieve at my departure
you whom I have loved so much,
for my roots and yours
are forever entwined."

I dedicate this to my daughter, Jennifer, who carries, forever, the love and friendship of her sister, to Lauren and Gregg, who released their baby girl to the arms of Jesus on her day of birth, February 10, 2009, to Tina's family, who released balloons to the heavens on Friday in memory of their beloved, to all of those learning how to live again through loss and grief, and to Mrs. Frances Bayer, who I never met, yet found a connection with in spirit, and who was the inspiration behind these words.

Thankfully, love prevails this day, and every day, this is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.