Amazing Grace

I love the quiet of the morning. The chimes on the deck, the birds singing, the leaves rustling. In my daily rush of nearly thirty years I don't think I knew sounds could be so energizing and restorative. I was too busy, getting the children ready, arriving to school for my early morning meetings, going at such a fast pace all day, rushing home to fix dinner and back out for meetings or functions or activities. Just so busy. But God has given me a reprieve. He has given me the gift of life. And I love it. Through the sadness and pain, I still love it. He is teaching me to savor. And just this morning, as I sat down to write a completely different thought, I heard it. Outside. Somewhere. A fluted version of "Amazing Grace". I'm serious. I had to stop clicking the keys to be sure. But there it was. I stopped everything because I didn't believe it was real. But it was. And I had a moment where I knew that it was and I knew why. It's a message from my mother.

I dreamt of her all night. Is it because of Mother's Day, or the journey my sister is taking right now...is it because of my prayers last night, is it because I desire the sweet assurance that she is finally happy and at peace in her soul? What was it? The dreams were fitful, restless, yet comforting in some odd way. I took them for what they were, not looking too deeply for a message. I knew God would reveal my answer. I trust Him like that. He has shown me there is reason to trust. He works it all out for good. In spite of the devastation and crumbling of my life at times, He is the giver of mercy and grace. And He did provide the answer! It came in the sound of a magical fluted version of His most amazing grace, in the form of a song, and not just any song. My mother's song! And my grandmother's song.

I heard but didn't believe for a moment. I didn't want to move, though, and break the spell. I said the words in my head as the flute played on...amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me....I once was lost, but now am found....the hour I first believed. I could even hear my mother, in her definite off-key voice, singing the words!

But the tangible, reality based side of me couldn't resist. Was this my imagination or a message from God, or even from my mother? I barely moved, and slowly moved the curtain over just a bit. I didn't even get up. I didn't want to break the spell. At first I couldn't see, but then, there he was, a young boy, at the corner stop sign, right in my yard, waiting for a ride to school, I suppose, with his flute out, playing ever so softly, right outside my window.

Oh, the gift of sounds, music, magic, love, grace, truly all amazing. Thank you God for bringing me to my computer at exactly the right time. I get the message. I truly do. You want me to "be present" and live and breathe and savor and enjoy. You don't want me to waste a moment in self-pity, focusing on my departed child, my mother in heaven. You want me to live. I get it. I am going to try to stay pleasing you, make you proud, enjoy the sounds, and heed the message. Amazing Grace indeed, the greatest gift this day, showing me you hold those most dear to my heart, in the palm of your hand, letting me know through the flute player, that all is right with the world.