Thankfulness

Yes, it's that time when most of us look to our blessings and give thanks, try to extend good will and cheer to neighbors and friends, perhaps give to our favorite charity or lend a hand to "give back" for all we have received. Many of us love the Thanksgiving holiday because there is very little stress, except for the cooking part, and minimal expectation, it can often be a day to just BE and really enjoy family. I know for many of us, Thanksgiving Day is every day, especially when you learn very quickly that nothing in life can be taken for granted! Imagine my surprise a few Thanksgiving dinners ago, when our oldest daughter asked everyone to go around the table and say what they were thankful for...it was then that I realized, and found my own thanks, that some of what we had taught and stood for had really impacted her. I remember to this day what everyone around that table said and I cling to it when shades of grief and loss penetrate me, knowing I will have many blessings, but not the one of having my complete family around the dinner table. I have come to know, however, that while the loss is often unbearable and unthinkable, I really DO have my complete family, just not in the way I would have perceived or preferred. We still have that wholeness and completeness and Allison is always a part of everything we do, just as before, perhaps even more so, because as we learn to cope and breathe in a new way, she is at the core of how we keep going on, going on and giving thanks for times such as these.

For many, it is difficult to comprehend giving thanks when there is so much pain, and applying it to their own lives is most difficult. I find that to be true, too, at times, and sometimes as I list my blessings in my blessings journal, I am almost glad no one else will ever read it, for there are moments when I am digging and digging for a blessing to ease my troubled heart. Times and life are hard, we have learned that they aren't meant to be easy, we will all face loss, trials, burdens, bills that can't be paid, Christmas mornings that don't bring the happiness we thought it would, loss of jobs, and these times are the most challenging of all. Every day someone we know loses their life to cancer, to someone else's wrong doing, to stress, to overdoses, to unthinkable means. Then we are left to go on, sometimes wondering, "is this all there is", to be in this pain, to dread or fear a holiday, to worry ourselves into physical and mental incapacities. But for some of us, we truly know that "in the scheme of things" this can ALL be worked out, for when there is life there is hope and God promises us all our own unique miracle. I am comforted by that concept and truth, we all have our place and time in this life, and the struggles make us stronger, and the life that is left becomes all that sweeter. Nothing looks the same, everything is anew, songs sound different, simple chores and caregiving become a privilege and the moment we are in becomes the most important one there is...

I read on a church sign just this week that if all we do is give thanks everyday, that is sufficient. God hears us, this I know, and if all I can do is give thanks for one thing, then I consider myself blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, love, Kathy