Compassionate Friends

This time I am not writing of the many lifelines of friends, but the organization, Compassionate Friends, a support network for grieving families and a special, upcoming world-wide candle vigil, this Sunday night, December 14, at 7:00 in your local area. Please join me, if you are able, by lighting your own candle for all those who have lost a child of any age, under any circumstance, in simple remembrance. While I have not been able to attend a Compassionate Friends meeting, I have most definitely taken advantage of their resources and website from time to time. In fact, I may consider beginning a small chapter in our area as there are no local groups. I discovered that if three or more families are willing to be represented, and the leader is at least 18 months into a deep loss of a child, then a chapter can be formed. This may be a calling of sorts, for I embrace their mission of hope, care and recognition of each person's private journey with grieving a child.

I recall when Allison first passed away, many folks sent pamphlets or suggestions of what might work for us. They were most helpful, but when you find yourself in shock, you really do not know where to turn or how to begin. I'm sure some parents do attend support groups right away, for them, perhaps there is a comfort and a need. We didn't choose that option, and still do not, although, we find other ways to face and "handle" the grief. I have always believed it needs to be handled before it handles us...and it most definitely will. However, I never rule anything or any suggestion out, for I don't know what I will need or desire around the bend of this journey. Hence, the possibility of beginning a new phase as a leader of a small group. A group that is growing and growing, sadly enough. I really do not know if I knew more than a handful of parents, personally, who had lost a child when we faced our own loss. Now I find that number growing and I know reaching out to those mothers and fathers is part of my purpose in this devastation.

We will all encounter someone who loses a loved one, a child, in our future. We will learn how to help, respond, assist, comfort and be there when the months tick away and the journey becomes more intense and painful. We will know because Allison taught us.

So, as we light our candles on Sunday night, and remember all those children, and say a silent prayer or participate in one of the hundreds of Compassionate Friends vigils in the world, we bring hope to one another, and the knowledge that our children will never be forgotten.

Feel free to refer anyone to www.compassionatefriends.net, for more information.