Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Peace, Joy and Love...and Believe

These words are indicative of the season...peace, joy and love. The Christmas cards all contain them and we all wish for them, if only for one day. Each word connotates a different emotion or feeling or memory and that in itself can bring us a bit of comfort. So, all the preparations and plans and cooking and gift buying brings us to one day out of the year where the world does seem still for a bit, starting in the evening of Christmas Eve. The solitude and lack of traffic and closed stores always made me feel a bit peaceful, I knew it was coming, Christmas morning and a day to just BE with family or friends. The day where there would be no conflicts, no pressures, no anxiety, no worries, really. We can all just take that 24 hours, the gift God gave us to celebrate the birth of His son, to do whatever comes naturally and feels good. Everyone does things differently, but to all Christians, it means the same, and some years we reflect more than others on its significance. Our girls certainly grew up knowing the true meaning of Christmas, but they also were indulged by Santa and presents from grandparents, aunts and uncles. Early years were lean, but they didn't know it, and some years were plentiful, if not "over the top". It didn't matter, the pure and simple joy, for one day was enough to make us smile, knowing they appreciated the gifts, and enjoyed them. Then the new toys or games would come out and the day and days that followed were spent engaged as a family. There were plenty of arguments over the game, Sorry, but never on Christmas Day. How does the world know to be peaceful and loving on Christmas Day?!! God prevails and shows us the way. We all know that it doesn't have to be Christmas Day to find that peace, that joy, that love, those who choose and understand that God is here in all times, in all days, well, that peace can never be taken away. It is a beautiful gift and I am grateful to know it and open it every day.

A conversation with my sister-in-law prompted me thinking, some time back, just how blessed I was to know God, how our whole family was, to know Him, when Allison was diagnosed. I believe that the whole situation would have evolved differently, and no day would be peaceful if we had not previously known a loving and merciful God. From the moment we heard the word, cancer, it was clear to us that God would be our guide, that we would find our peace and our answers in Him. Allison carried a pamphlet, God's Medicine, with her into treatments and prayed for doctors and nurses caring for her. She found a scripture to cling to that brought her the most comfort and she memorized it so that when her radiation mask was placed, she had no fear. She felt peace, joy and love. She, and we, never lost sight of God's hand in this. No, not that He gave her the cancer, but He was going to cure her, one way or the other. And cure her, he did...not in the way we thought or planned, but haven't we all learned that life isn't about OUR plan. Sure, there were times when I would have bargained, screamed, begged Him to do things differently, but through it all, once we gave this to His doing, peace and joy and love shined through. You could see it in the joy of our "last" Christmas, when the angelic glow began to permeate Allison, when we had the most amazing Christmas Eve and Day, filled with the most intimate and loving moments a family could have, playing that Uno Attack, or eating a whole pan of appetizers, and having champaigne and orange juice with my famous breakfast. The most important thing was, God gave us that last Christmas, free of worry, pain, anxiety or stress. For that one whole day, there was no cancer in our lives, no need to worry, God had it all under control. And now we have the pure and simple understanding that God takes care of it all, as if we didn't know it before. He has used our Allison to show us the light. Yes, I am glad I knew Him before and that I will always know and honor Him in my life, He is ever present, and as much as I long for Allison's physical presence, I know there is no more wondrous place for her to be...we will find that peace, joy and love in all that we do because we dared to first believe.

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