Simple Pleasures

Oh, the simple pleasures in life that have now become more like gifts to the soul. I take the time to savor them, to allow them to take place, to do my best to live in the now. I never knew that an extra hour in bed, just laying there, stretching, praying, planning, resting could be such a joy. Add a cup of coffee to that with my feet up on a pillow, oh joy! Add the company of my constant companion, Barkley that is:), to the mix, and it is pure bliss. Stir in the fact that I can plan my own day the way I choose, this one for domestic chores and regrouping and cooking for a friend, is an amazing blessing. I know how fortunate I am to be where I am and I ask God to never let me take advantage of it, to be pleasing to His desires, to give of myself and not wallow in my sadness that can overtake me on a dark, dreary day. Rather, I ask Him to help me find, and enjoy, the simple pleasures, and He does!

My blessing journal has taken on new meaning in the months, now going into years, since Allison passed away. In the early stages, I had to look so deep that it hurt, to find them. I knew they were there, but seeing and feeling was difficult as I wove through the shock of loss. It is still difficult. I still don't want to think of Easter dinner without her, I am overcome with heartache and tears when I find that we are on another threshold without her. I should be making her a basket for Saturday night, just as I did for 21 years and would have until they, my daughters, had children of their own. And knowing me, I would have continued! I don't know how I can endure moving from birthday to Easter to Mother's Day to more birthdays to summer to fall and then to the time that it started all over again. I feel as though I just catch my breath, for a minute, and the surges begin, sending signals to my heart and soul that it is time to face something again, and again, and again, without her here. I do not know how I will go on, but I do, and I am stronger for it. I do, and I will, and I will find the simple pleasures. The simple times that I may have never known could be so beautiful had she not left the legacy of living, living until we die, and then living on in a new and even more profound way.

So, I savor and enjoy and everything becomes a pleasure and a privilege. As I bake for my friend this day, I seize the moment, make something of it, find the true blessing in the now, and cling to the promise that blessings do come in broken times. Some days I have to look deeper and more intently to find them, but they are there. The gift of time allows me to keep searching and living and doing what the spirit drives me to do, to enjoy all the aspects of life that I either never noticed before or never took the time to indulge in...this is the day to grab hold and live, for I know there is a spirit about me that lives and leads for more than myself. God is using me in powerful ways and I am grateful. Overwhelmed, saddened at times, jubilant at others, but always, grateful.