Acts 20:35, "It is more blessed to give than to receive"

I grew up hearing my father say this from time to time, especially when asked what he would like for a birthday or for Christmas...his response, "no gifts, it is better to give than receive", and he meant it. He would much prefer to stand on the sidelines at Christmas, or hold the bow bag, or sip coffee as we all tore into our packages that no doubt our mother had bought and wrapped, but he had willingly and lovingly paid for. I really didn't know his response was actually a scripture until much later, but what I did know, was that he was a true testament of this concept. I know he gave and gave and gave in ways that I will probably never ever fully comprehend.

So, as I grew older and learned there was a scripture that came from the book of Acts, I understand another concept of our Lord and Saviour. And a recent exploration of the chapters helped me understand from what context this scripture comes, (or at least I think I understand it)! Paul was making his farewell speech to the elders after being compelled by the Holy Spirit to leave them and not know what would happen. He knew he would face hardships but only wanted to finish the race and complete the task the Lord had given him, the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace. He knew he may not see any of them again so he encouraged them, once again, to commit to God and to His world of grace and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus himself, "It is more blessed to give than to receive".

Naturally, this story brings several things to mind and correlations to my own life. And what particularly struck me is that lately I have wanted to DO more, BE more, GIVE more, but at times cannot move past my own pain and sorrow and suffering. I pray diligently to move out of myself and my grief into the mode of helping others, and I do, but sparingly, it seems. I struggle to know what volunteer effort to join, whether to re-enter a work world, how to BE again, how to interact again. "They" say it takes time, and that for each of us who suffer from any type of trauma or shock, whether physical or emotional, the journey is different. I agree, but then I realize how life is so short, don't we know, and that my productivity could perhaps be more than making a meal for shut-ins, spending time with a grieving neighbor, baking cookies for those who cannot, offering mentoring advice to those who call or visit, opening my heart and home for a momentary respite for those leading a hectic, chaotic life, or being that listening ear to a friend in need. In this time of giving, rather than receiving, I pray God will lead me to fulfill a mission of His, giving back and doing for others, knowing that we each walk a road filled with challenges. "Giving" takes that sense of pain away, the loss dissipates for a short time, and brings that moment of comfort or joy to others. "Giving", when done with love and care, is healing, therapeutic, and comforting, but most importantly, when done with the conviction of the heart, it is God's work. I know from experience that He will reveal my time and place, so I work to be patient, thankful of the blessings that I do have, the gift of time, the dawning of each day where my soul can carry me where I ought to go, the chance to explore new horizons, a paced life that I have never fully embraced until now, and the chance to "give" when the time is right.

Indeed, I am in a special place in my life, I know it, I work to embrace it, and I am learning something new about myself every day. God has "given" me so much.