"Lost" or "Won" The Battle?

With so much cancer invading our lives, and the lives of so many others, I hear an expression quite often that resonates with me on many levels. When cancer takes the life of someone, you will hear it in the voices of the ones left behind, or you will hear it on the news, or in "water cooler" conversations....the phrase...."he/she LOST the battle with cancer". I guess I don't like the sound of it, but I understand the concept...the cancer took over and the person lost their life. They are gone. They died. They passed away. However you choose to say it, the cancer took the life. I get that. I really do. After all, I have watched cancer rear its ugly head, up close and personal, in the lives of two of my dearest souls, my father, then my daughter. Now, I watch it play havoc with my brother-in-law as he and the family ride the roller coaster ride it can take you on...the highs, the lows, the dilemma of what to do, do I take a job, do I not, do I start this project, do I not? Do I dare plan for a future when I don't know if I will be here to see the fruits of my labor pay off? What do I do, what do we do? Do we plan or merely exist? Do I take this course of treatment, do I dare hope for a better future? How do I really learn to take one day at a time? Indeed, the questions would never stop.

The numbers continue to be staggering and we can become obsessed with cancer. We know now what we hoped to never know. We have lost our innocence. We see people who live for years and years with a similar diagnosis, we see people "lose" the battle within days of diagnosis. We see people abuse their bodies as soon as they leave the chemotherapy chair, or continue habits that most of us cannot imagine, and we can wonder many things, not putting less value on their lives, but still, wondering. We can ponder, how does a vibrant, healthy young woman, or a teenager, or a 10 month old baby, "lose" a life to some rare type of cancer? Why is childhood cancer on the rise and certain types of cancers taking the lives of our pre-schoolers? How does one family who I have come to know through their caring bridge site, bury a child and the next day the father receives his own cancer diagnosis, now, looking at his own battle with barely a breath to begin grieving for his child? Again, the questions rise and can never stop.

But the answer is simple. It is life. We are not immune just because we think we have done things right or that we deserve a break! We don't get a "pass" that allows us only so much pain and loss and suffering. These things no longer happen to "other" people. They happen to us, as well intentioned, devoted, educated, spiritual, God loving people that we think we are....they happen to all of us. And the lesson is that they always will, and for now, we just have this day. There are times the day seems hopeless, and that the fight may not be worth the result, but who is to say. Who is to say, when it is all said and done, that we "lost" the battle, I say, we will have "won". And I say that with the conviction that in the case of the faithful, those who walk with God on their side and in their corner, there can be no losing. We will win, and we will each have our own miracle. The miracle may not look like we expect it to, but it is there. I remember, very vividly, talking with Allison about those miracles. We never gave up, nor did she, that a miracle would occur. But we always said, we won't know what it is, but we hope we recognize it when it comes. And we did. She did. She knew her miracle was to be saved from future pain and a life of needles, treatment and appointments. Her own personal miracle was that she "won" the battle, in no way did she "lose". She found her home in a loving God who spared her much, who never imposed the cancer in the first place, but knew her as a follower, who needed her far more than we did, who knew her work would be better served in His Kingdom. This is something we have all known, but has taken me three years to articulate.

We won't ever change perceptions and terminology and total outcomes of cancer or the losses we will face. All we can do is know in our heart where we stand with God above, that when it becomes our time for our own miracle, we will recognize it, know it and accept it. We will know, without a doubt, no matter what our circumstance, that we have "won" our battle, whatever it may be, cancer, disease, pain, loss, personal suffering. We get to choose and I prefer to win, rather than ever lose.