Comfort

Dear Allison, I am asking God for peace and contentment as we approach your birthday, this Friday, a day that marks just another day, but not really. Those of us who walk in grief, and that is almost everyone who walks the planet,we know that the anniversaries and the birthdays and the celebrations all take on a different look, feeling, view when our loved one is gone. So I breathe in, I breathe out, I close my eyes, I move in a way that I can only pray is pleasing to God. I already know it is, to you. I feel your smile that your dad, sister and I are living, finding our way to maneuver, live, breathe, maybe dance, maybe sing again. I can't make promises, Allie, I just can't, but I will do my best, I already do, out of appreciation for this day, out of love for you, your father, your sister, myself.

Today, simply, I just need that encouragement to hold on to hope, hope in a future, hope that I have the opportunity to live, visit new places, see new sights, savor new and precious moments, hope that I will "live" with this loss.

I find it in the book of Jeremiah, Chapter 29, verses 11-13: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I wll listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with allyour heart.

Today, that is all I need to know, that, and my spirit tells me God will bring me comfort in the days ahead. And your love will never die, leaving me a world of hope, comfort and this day to make you proud.

Love, Mom